Current Affairs

Fresh Hot Takes on Gender Part II

Back by popular demand…

After the smashing success of Fresh Hot Takes on Gender Part I, we have received quite a few compliments, but also a number of reader complaints, which demanded to know when Current Affairs became a radical feminist publication. In the interest of satisfying some readers’ hunger for Subjects To Become Angry About, here are even more Fresh Hot Takes on Gender for you to consume. If these infuriate you, we recommend a soothing solution of hot oat milk, sriracha, and dealing with it.

  1. I Just Want To Be Respected As A Human Being With Both My Tits Out
  2. Alternatively: I Would Prefer To Have Every Inch Of Skin On My Body Covered Up At All Times, But I Get So Sweaty
  3. Men Should Be Banned From Public Life, No Of Course I Don’t Mean That Literally But Also Yeah Kind Of Literally
  4. I Like Leftist Men Who Are Feminists But Don’t Insist On Their Feminist Credentials And If You Feel Like Discussing This With Me Then You Are Exactly The Type Of Leftist Man I Don’t Like
  5. Why Do I Persist In Being Attracted To Men Even Though They Are Frustrating And Don’t Have Breasts
  6. I Want To Drive A Monster Truck With Spiky Wheels Over The Corpses Of My Enemies While Also Wearing A Fairy Princess Dress, Is That A Gender
  7. I Realize the Historic Origins of This Practice Are Sexist, But I Would Like to Bring Back the Thing Where Menstruating Women Retreat to a Comfortable Tent Far From Everyone Else’s Bullshit
  8. When Will Men Realize That Hearty Back-Slaps And Arm-Punches Are The Only Kind of Flirting I Know How To Do (Because I Was Inexplicably Socialized As A Closeted Frat Boy From The 1990s)
  9. When Will Men Realize That Simply Being Polite Is Not An Invitation To Fuck
  10. When Will Men Realize A Goddamn Thing
  11. Why Is A Suit Just Called A Suit When A Man Wears It, But a Pantsuit When a Woman Wears It?
  12. Relatedly: Why Do “Three-Piece Suits” For Women Come With A Random Extraneous Skirt and No Waistcoat? Do They Think This Is Some Kind Of GAME?
  13. Also Relatedly: Why Do So Many Women’s Trousers Have Blind Pockets and No Goddamn Belt Loops? WHERE THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT MY THUMBS WHEN I’M TRYING TO LOOK CASUAL?
  14. Asexuality Is A Perfectly Legitimate Sexuality And Let’s Be Real, It May In Fact Be The Only Justifiable One
  15. I Urgently Need Scientists to Develop Swimsuits And Winter Sleepwear That I Can Pee From Without Taking The Whole Damn Thing Off
  16. Maybe Incels Would Be More Fuckable If They Didn’t All Look Like Week-Old Hairballs Suddenly Discovered Under The Couch
  17. Are My Playful Misandry and My Playful Misogyny Simply Smokescreens for My Sincere Dislike of Most People?
  18. Counterpoint: Is Playfully Misanthropic A Gender In Itself?
  19. I Don’t Have “Girl Friends” and “Guy Friends,” I Have “Friends Who Will Listen To A Detailed Description of My Morning Dump” and “Other”
  20. When Will Disney Finally Make A Movie About A Princess Being Ousted From Power And Forced To Learn About Collective Self-Government
  21. Much Like ICE, Gender Categories Should Be Abolished Rather Than Reformed
Ready for Part III?

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