Articles in Frivolity & Amusement

Practical Jokes to Play on ICE/CBP

Protesting day and night until police officers quit from exhaustion has proven to be an effective tactic. At Current Affairs, we would never suggest that you *should* play pranks on ICE and CBP agents until they too quit out of frustration. But if you *were* to do so, here are some innocent suggestions.


Some Things I Could Do With The NYPD’s $6 Billion Annual Budget

The NYPD should be defunded and abolished at once. Once we’ve done that, we’ll have $6 billion extra dollars a year to improve the city. What would you do if you, personally, were in charge of that $6 billion? Jason Adam Katzenstein has some ideas:


The Five Hottest Guillotines of 2020, Ranked

Do you have revolutionary fever, or revolutionary FOMO? Order one of these top five guillotines now and be totally prepped for certain upcoming events we have been legally instructed not to reference directly.


The Grand Boomer Bargain

An open letter to the boomer in your life…


Texts From Elon Musk to His Engineering Team

Actual texts between the Tesla chief and his team of designers.


Unbearable Lightness: A Tech CEO’s Diary

A diary of Personal Growth, Mindful Self-Humbling, and Blameless Eating.


WHEN I SAID “NEVER TRUMP” I WASN’T THINKING ABOUT HOW SOMETIMES A LITTLE TRUMP IS OKAY OR EVEN GOOD, ACTUALLY

Milton Wallace—esteemed New York Times op-ed columnist and dinner party guest extraordinaire—returns to the pages of Current Affairs with a dire warning for Democrats.


BREAKING: Current Affairs Reveals its 2020 Endorsement

The Current Affairs endorsement process is a lengthy, harrowing ordeal. We now present to you the results of 23 minutes of staggering effort.


This Time, I Am Correct

In which the esteemed New York Times op-ed writer Milton Wallace returns to gracefully opine upon the 2020 Democratic primary.


Some Guesses As To What Pete Buttigieg Got Up To At McKinsey*

Current Affairs fills in mysterious gaps in the candidate’s record.


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