Current Affairs

Jason Adam Katzenstein

Other Billionaire Adventure Destinations

Where the 0.001% should go: an illustrated listicle.

Space was exciting, but now it’s been-there-done-that. You’re an adventurous billionaire and you need somewhere new to colonize. After all, what good is billions of dollars if you can’t get a private table anywhere in the universe? Here are some uncharted spots you can still check out: 

The Challenger Deep

In 2020, Dr. Kathryn Sullivan went deeper than anybody has ever gone in the ocean: nearly 36,000 feet, into what’s known as “The Challenger Deep,” the deepest point on earth. As of 2021, zero people have built homes there. You want to be remote, away from all the riffraff; why not settle down deep, deep under the sea? Let other billionaires have an ocean view: you can have the ocean. 

Art by Jason Adam Katzenstein

Siberia

A bunch of you love the idea of re-animating prehistoric animals. Well, here’s where you find them! Siberia is home to the active volcano Klyuchevskaya Sopka, perfect for an evil lair—err, winter getaway. 

A Black Hole

While technically in space, so far nobody has ever successfully checked out the inside of a black hole and come back to regale the sycophantic newspaper he owns with stories of what he found. Concerned that the laws of physics say that no particle, no matter how small, can escape a black hole’s gravitational pull? I mean, when has a law ever applied to you? 

Inside One of Your Warehouses

Wouldn’t it be such an experience to look in the faces of your immiserated workers? You could explain to each of them why you deserve to make $691,234 every minute while they don’t get bathroom breaks. Probably they’ll thank you and tell you they’re having a great time and it’s truly an honor to work here. 

Atlantis

This one’s for the billionaire who loves to read Plato(’s Wikipedia page). Looking at you, Musk! Build that incredible submarine and find this lost city, the same way you found those kids in the flooded Thai cave. Sure, nobody’s found Atlantis before, but their brains aren’t as big as yours! Just keep looking til you get there, dude! It’ll be based

The Hague

Remarkable gothic architecture to make you feel like the king you are, king! There’s an amazing beach, and breathtaking art—“Girl with the Pearl Earring” calls The Hague home, for one. And while you’re here, why don’t you pop on over to the U.N. International Court of Justice, king?

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