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HERE & ABROAD
❧ DEEP DIVE: Assault with a deli weapon ❧
A heinous crime was caught on camera this week when a Washington, D.C. area man threw a sandwich at an ICE agent. Air Force veteran Sean Dunn jumped up and down in front of the officer before throwing the footlong at point-blank range. He went ham, if you will. The agent, armed only with a gun and bulletproof vest, was defenseless to the battery of bread and meat. If you can stomach the violence, click below.
Content warnings: extreme violence, gluten.
This is one of the funnier things to come out of Trump’s D.C. takeover. What’s more distressing is the administration’s reaction. Dunn was arrested immediately after his throw and shortly released from custody. When federal charges were issued against Dunn, his lawyer called prosecutors so Dunn could turn himself in. But prosecutors didn’t return her calls—instead, a dozen officers in combat-style tactical gear arrested Dunn in his apartment during the night before his next court date. The arrest was captured on a heavily edited video posted online the next day:
Your tax dollars hard at work.
Timestamp: 11:09 PM. Location: an apartment building in D.C.’s posh West End neighborhood. Officers stand in a circle, thinking of how they’re going to explain to their partners why they missed dinner. Cut to timestamp: 11:13 PM. I’m surprised they all fit in one elevator. They knock on Dunn’s door. Not too loud, neighbors are sleeping. Cut to Dunn arrested, hands behind his collared shirt. You can’t see his face, indeed, you can’t see any faces. Good cameramen film exclusively the back of the head. Timestamp: 11:23 PM. Officers took 14 minutes to arrest a man who, earlier that day, had asked to go to jail.
Dunn was later charged with federal felony assault of a police officer, which carries an 8-year maximum sentence. That’s the same charge that many now-pardoned Jan. 6th rioters once faced. He has since been released from court on his own recognizance.
Art by C.M. Duffy from Current Affairs magazine, Issue 10, November-December 2017
Italian writer Umberto Eco, when describing the essential characteristics of fascism, wrote that, “by a continuous shifting of rhetorical focus, the enemies are at the same time too strong and too weak.” “The followers [of fascism] must feel humiliated by the ostentatious wealth and force of their enemies,” while at the same time, they “must be convinced that they can overwhelm their enemies.” Trump embodies this idea. For him, the radical left is “the enemy from within… more dangerous than China, Russia and all these countries.” But in the social media era, generating this image also requires creating scenarios where the administration can record and post its impossible, inevitable victories. This means videos like the one above, where officers mime heroism while success is guaranteed.
So what to do about this? Well, one thing you can do, from the comfort of your own couch, even, is laugh. Because this whole ordeal is ridiculous. Everything we’ve just discussed is an enormous waste of resources—from the nameless White House intern who shouldn’t have put Adobe Premier Pro on his resume, to the meatball sub mercilessly abandoned on the sidewalk. D.C. police could be dealing with more dangerous criminals, like jaywalkers and bad tippers. Everyone involved in the production knows their time is being wasted. So appreciate the absurdity, if even for a moment, lest your time be wasted, too.
❧ In Other News ❧
❧ Air Canada union rejects a forced work order. Air Canada flight attendants went on strike early Saturday morning, seeking pay for the work they perform while flights are on the ground. Currently, like many other flight attendants, they’re paid only for the time they spend in the air, which is absurd—can you imagine if doctors only made money while they were actually holding a scalpel? The Canadian government has twice ordered the workers to return to their posts, and twice the union defied their demands. In response to the government declaring the strike illegal, union president Mark Hancock said, “If it means folks like me going to jail, then so be it. If it means our union being fined, then so be it.” It’s refreshing to see, even if it’s surprising to hear such aggression from our polite neighbors up north.
❧ TheLos Angeles Olympics will sell naming rights. In an Olympics first, the 2028 LA games will allow companies to slap their names and logos on several venues. Honda and Comcast have already bought the rights to the volleyball and squash stadiums, respectively. The arrangement raises many questions, including “why is squash an Olympic sport?” It remains to be seen if the Olympics will approve our bid to call the opening ceremony the “Current Affairs parade of News Briefing-approved countries.” (Belgium, you’re not making the cut. Estonia, welcome.)
❧ A Zambian political feud disrupted a state funeral. Zambian president Hakainde Hichilema is fighting a legal battle against the family of deceased former president Edgar Lungu over whether Hichilema will preside over Lungu’s funeral. Lungu led Zambia from 2015 to 2021, when Hichilema crushed him in a landslide election victory. Since then, the two men have been at each other’s throats—Lungu was banned from jogging after Hichilema took power, and according to his family, one of Lungu’s dying wishes was that Hichilema never be near his body. Unfortunately, a South African court ruled that Lungu’s body can be repatriated to Zambia, where Hichilema intends to preside over the funeral.
CURRENT-EST AFFAIRS
What’s new in the magazine this week?
❧How America Got Hooked on Shady Gas Station Drugs, by Current Affairs Editor Emily Topping. One memorable quote from a user of “Feel Free” kratom tonics: “These drinks are insane and not only leave you financially ruined but also physically and mentally. I am fucked.”
❧ In More News ❧
❧Charges have been dismissed against a “Cop City” protestor. An Atlanta judge dismissed the charges of domestic terrorism levied against Jamie Marsicano, an activist who was accused of vandalizing construction material at the site of Atlanta’s $90 million police training center (whilst also having a good time at a music festival). Prosecutors had failed to indict Marsicano in the two-and-a-half years after their arrest, violating Marsicano’s right to a speedy trial.
Art by Jesse Rubenfeld from Current Affairs Magazine Vol. 8, Issue 42
❧ Putin protects poop. Vladimir Putin visited Alaska last week for his red carpet photoshoot and limo ride with Donald Trump (featuring, maybe, negotiations about Ukraine). But alongside his security detail, he also apparently brought a “poop suitcase.” As first identified by French magazine Paris Match—which cites “indirect sources,” so, you know, grain of salt here—Putin’s security team collects his poop when he travels overseas to ensure it can’t be stolen and analyzed by adversaries. (Perhaps he doesn’t want people to know of his reliance on American corn.) It remains to be seen when Putin’s poo tin will make its next appearance.
❧ AI was used to create network of scam colleges. An investigation by Inside Higher Ed discovered 40 websites purporting to be real colleges that were in fact scams attempting to trick students into enrolling in non-existent programs. NYU, GWU, Houston, and Eastern Michigan Universities were among the schools impersonated.
ROBE RAGE
❧ This Week in the Courts❧
One year after Grants Pass, the criminalization of homelessness has exploded.
Last year, the Supreme Court decided by a 6-3 vote that cities can jail people for being homeless. In Grants Pass v. Johnson, the Court ruled that it is not a violation of the 8th Amendment to arrest people for sleeping outdoors when they have nowhere else to go, using the logic that the law in question didn’t actually criminalize the status of being homeless, it simply regulated “camping on public property.” Advocates immediately criticized the decision, claiming that it would result in cities trying to “arrest their way out of” the problem of homelessness. Unfortunately, they were right.
In his majority opinion, Neil Gorsuch wrote that “homelessness is complex. Its causes are many. So may be the public policy responses required to address it.” He was wrong. Homelessness is actually not that complex. People go without homes because they cannot afford shelter—the same reason people go without food or healthcare. And so the solution to homelessness is similar to the solution to the issues of food and healthcare access: make homes cheap and accessible. But the Supreme Court didn’t push townships to try any one of the many tried and true methods of making homes cheaper, it simply gave them license to criminalize those who fall through the cracks.
In the year since Grants Pass, the ACLU has tallied 220 bills criminalizing homelessness passed by cities across the U.S., and individual politicians like Governor Gavin Newsom have gone out of their way to demolish homeless people’s sleeping areas, armed with the new ruling. This is a tragedy, both in the short term and for the future of housing in America. We need a dramatic change of course.
Governor Newsom pulls apart a homeless person's meager mattress
No animals are unaffected by the anthropocene. But some are teaching each other how to navigate the human world. In an incredible example of animal culture, cockatoos in Australia are teaching each other how to open trash cans. The birds show each other how to open bins and get food, and their students go on to teach other cockatoos.
It’s so clever, you can almost forget that it’s eating garbage.
Writing and research by Grady Martin. Editing and additional material by Nathan J. Robinson and Alex Skopic. Header graphic by Cali Traina Blume. This news briefing is a product of Current Affairs Magazine. Subscribe to our gorgeous and informative print edition here, and our delightful podcast here.
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