Current Affairs

A Convenient Way To Promote Happiness

Texts From Elon Musk to His Engineering Team

Actual texts between the Tesla chief and his team of designers.

This week, Tesla visionary Elon Musk reportedly saw his net worth drop $770 million overnight after a disastrous debut for Tesla’s new “Cybertruck.” The Cybertruck, in addition to being uncommonly hideous, was reported to have windows made of special Tesla “armor glass.” When, during the live demonstration, a Musk subordinate tried to demonstrate the strength of the armored windows by throwing a metal ball at them, they immediately shattered.

Tesla is known for its chaotic internal culture, and Musk himself has been a controversial figure. Now, for the first time, Current Affairs offers a peek inside the real-world operations of Tesla. Thanks to an internal whistleblower, we have obtained a record of texts sent from Musk to his engineering team.

EDITOR’S NOTE: I suppose for “legal purposes” and because it’s almost impossible to tell actual Elon Musk quotes from parodies I should formally note that these texts are satire and as far as we know were not actually sent by Elon Musk.

More In: Frivolity & Amusement

Cover of latest issue of print magazine

Announcing Our Newest Issue

Featuring

Spreading Sweetness and Light! Current Affairs takes on hellfire, why teens love socialism, the magic of Motown, and the legacy of Huey Long. Cover art by Aleksandra Waliszewska.

The Latest From Current Affairs